I’m thinking of joining that group – I found it on yahoo groups and it looks interesting like maybe I should help. I am paranoid so I did not do it at first.
Thank you for talking to me, I think, if I can trust you. Please let me know.
Right now I’m in pain and can barely think, if at all. It seems like evil is after me. Maybe they’re mad at me because I said, “There’s hookers at the JCC.”
I’m in such pain below the belt. That is a boxing term that is anatomically accurate. It seems like my things are poison – it could be the coffee, or the artificial sweetener, or the hot chocolate mix.
You know I didn’t want to make a big deal about it, but if the women are unfriendly there, I don’t think I should have to put up with their coughs and their dirty looks. And this poison pain. Maybe those two guys at the corner table tonight had something to do with it.
My looks are not mean, and if I want to watch these hard bodies work out I’m gonna. And I’m going to eat bacon cheeseburgers because even many Jewish people don’t keep Kosher.
And I don’t think my Kabbala rabbi is being that nice to me.
And I’m trying. I brought that “action alert” to the dinner, the one about the soldiers. And I still say that soldiers by definition are not kind, caring, and loving. I think this is fundamental about life, how the world works.
And how about this delusion. I think maybe my kid could be the messiah. I don’t want to put pressure on you sexually. I do think I have a right to a girlfriend, but it does not have to be you because you are unavailable. I think a friend like you could be a very important part of my life.
And Israel should not have used those cluster bombs in Lebanon. I’m trying to help, but sometimes it’s difficult. There cannot be peace because of Right wing extremists in Israel. And the Arabs are all messed up too. They are all messed up.
And I don’t know if I can send this, because it may look stupid. I tell people, I like the phone or in person, but this email looks stupid for years.
And here’s another thing. One of my favorite sayings is make love, not war. I think the country is not having enough sex, and that the headlines, the waste-of-time first and main news story of every day, the war in Iraq is SADISTIC. And we still get served up these homosexual SPORTS like we are supposed to care about the Super Bowl.
If you want to talk about this stuff, we can, because it may seem pretty wild but actually it’s pretty well developed thought, I think. It is that I am in pain and can barely think and I am angry at these evil people who are doing these things to me.
I also wanted to get out a thank you to you because you were generous to me.
I don’t think I can send this. Maybe sleep on it. But it’s three a.m. and I’m wide awake because of pain and I drank a pot of poison coffee.
The pain is continuing, and I can’t read. I’m beginning to feel more guilty that I did not ask you to be the mother of my child. If you can help with this Messiah thing, please let me know.
P.S. 11 p.m - You know I think I’m fighting evil. I’m in worse pain again. About this Messiah thing, I think every man should be hopeful about his progeny – a good cause, you know. Some of these things are related to my basic beliefs, however wild or mundane.